Even though I understand why people say it, I always find "you could be having as much sex as you want" annoying.
Because what I want to say is, okay, please show me the people in my area who are compatible with me, and loving, and available, and adult. Point to them. Show me all these wonderful options for sex partners that I have clearly overlooked.
Some people don't understand that it's not just about a choice to have more fun - and it's not even just about standards. In order to have good sexual partners, you first have to have the immense good fortune to *meet* them.
If all I had to do, in order to have great sex, was choose to... I'd be a very happy person indeed.
I feel you. I just think that meeting the right person is more about alignment rather than just luck.
I think you have to be at the right place within yourself and your life, in order for things to line up for a healthy, compatible relationship.
For example, In my case, if I’m not living in an area that offers abundant opportunities for the fruitful connections I desire, then I need to move. I intend to move one day. But for now, I am not yet positioned to meet the right person.
However for me it is also about standards because if I wanted to detour into whatever relationship I can find here, I could. I just choose not to because I want to honor myself.
I've considered moving for exactly that reason. I wonder sometimes if I'm just making excuses, but it really does feel like a solution. Or at least a good start.
Do you think this social expectation that women's bodies should be generally available for the gratification of others relates to the issue of abortion, for straight women at least? Seems to me that 'choice' has been relegated to a decision made after the inevitable unwanted pregnancy, rather than the selectivity you describe.
Even though I understand why people say it, I always find "you could be having as much sex as you want" annoying.
Because what I want to say is, okay, please show me the people in my area who are compatible with me, and loving, and available, and adult. Point to them. Show me all these wonderful options for sex partners that I have clearly overlooked.
Some people don't understand that it's not just about a choice to have more fun - and it's not even just about standards. In order to have good sexual partners, you first have to have the immense good fortune to *meet* them.
If all I had to do, in order to have great sex, was choose to... I'd be a very happy person indeed.
I feel you. I just think that meeting the right person is more about alignment rather than just luck.
I think you have to be at the right place within yourself and your life, in order for things to line up for a healthy, compatible relationship.
For example, In my case, if I’m not living in an area that offers abundant opportunities for the fruitful connections I desire, then I need to move. I intend to move one day. But for now, I am not yet positioned to meet the right person.
However for me it is also about standards because if I wanted to detour into whatever relationship I can find here, I could. I just choose not to because I want to honor myself.
I've considered moving for exactly that reason. I wonder sometimes if I'm just making excuses, but it really does feel like a solution. Or at least a good start.
What a strange reply to receive...
Do you think this social expectation that women's bodies should be generally available for the gratification of others relates to the issue of abortion, for straight women at least? Seems to me that 'choice' has been relegated to a decision made after the inevitable unwanted pregnancy, rather than the selectivity you describe.