I recently wrote a note about how older lesbians shouldn’t feel bad for the young lesbian and bi women of my generation because most of us are actually quite comfortable with gender ideology.
I lost my job for speaking out against this. I also lost friends and social standing. And you know what? I’d do it all over again.
I am able to stand in full integrity on this subject, and there is no mystery as to my stance. The people who love me love ALL of me- my corners and edges and controversial stances. I don’t have to pretend.
I’m no longer willing to dilute myself in order to not rock the boat. If my readers or community decide I’m ‘harmful’ for honoring women’s spaces and boundaries… see ya! 👋
I so appreciate your story and perspective, and it is refreshing to hear. I feel the same way. I am who I am and unwilling to compromise my values or integrity to go along with the status quo. I will figure out the logistics of that as I go along.
I understand why other people may choose differently, but I don't like feeling like I have to validate their decisions, when they are not aligned with my personal values (or theirs, for that matter)
Love this note about loving all the corners and edges of you-a much needed message for me right now. Thanks, Sarah 💜
Where I work in nonprofit the younger people have been so indoctrinated into gender ideology that they don't know anything else. We were all talking about removing honorifics from our database and the 25 year old said, we'll, just use "Mx." I didn't even occur to her that people wouldn't understand that. On of the senior staff explained thay our older donors would see this as a typo. But that senior staff member, who I believe is in her late 50s and 60s, is just going along with it, as our the other staff members who may be confused but still want to be nice.
They honestly don't understand it's full extent and harm. My supervisor explained some older donors' adherence to honorifics and "younger people's" ideas of gender. But of course it isn't the same. That is why all the substacks saying gender is done, etc., are misguided. It is not. The younger generation knows nothing else.
Yes, they are ignorant and that's why I said ignorance is bliss. But the extent to which they self-righteously defend their ignorance and refuse to engage in critical thinking is their own choice.
Unfortunately, they have been trained by people older than them - although not by much - that thinking critically is bad. At a DEI training we were literally encouraged to write our comments in a section for approval if we didn't know if it was "safe." And that all started more with my age peers, i.e. early middle age. So how can we expect them to have free thought and discussion? Not taking blame from them, just saying, a lot of things have to change before gender identity disappears.
Well let me clarify my earlier statement: Young people DO know how the broader world operates in regards to gender, and they know it very well.
Young folks are not ignorant of the meaning of Mr. and Mrs. or male and female. They KNOW what these things mean, and they understand that it is common usage. They KNOW that old people have only been exposed to these words.
They just actively choose to operate with their own rules (Mx) because that's what their peers say is right. And then, they *choose* to impose it on others.
Now, they ARE likely ignorant of all the harms of gender ideology because of the rampant censorship in our culture, and media biases.
However, they also know that alternative perspectives exist, and they choose to label them as bad or wrong without any engagement with critical thinking. Many of them will do this with aggression, or at the expense of others.
So, No...I do not agree that they "don't know any better". They are not infants!
The 25 year old you mentioned is a full-grown adult with a developed frontal cortex, and his or her formative years were totally free of this language.
Again...the coddling is treating them like they are innocent babies who haven't had exposure to anything else.
You said they were "trained by older people that critical thinking is bad"...what?
They can think for themselves if they want to.
Which "older people" trained them? Woke Millenials? 😹
Gender identity is rooted in the idea of individuality and freedom of expression. It's also rooted in bucking the norms of what the older generation left behind.
They decide what that means to them.
Your coddling is enabling them to live as NPCs.
Yes, gender ideology is a cult and some people do live in a bubble.
But gender ideology works in direct response to what was already in place. You have to have an understanding of how we have been using language and gender norms, in order to embrace gender identity.
Reading your comment again, I agree very much with the last paragraph. Coming from my place in the world, though...I am not optimistic. The other thing I see is the term "gender diverse" going around and it is more important than anything. Honestly, I also think that part of the youth coddling is older people taking the idea that "youth have so much to teach their elders!" taken too far, along with those older people themselves not performing critical thinking. It has become more cult-like in nonprofit, which is why I wanted to start a substack on my experience because I don't think people are aware of what is going on. But I have done one little article and that's it. So I don't know how to get young people to begin critically thinking, because once you are in the environment of mind control that nonprofit has become, it is hard to think for oneself. You see this in people who have left cults, lived in the former Soviet Union, etc. I am one of the last people who doesn't have pronouns in their email signature.
Yes, it was older woke millennial who trained them like this. This is what I have experienced in nonprofit nonprofit for the last ten years. This is what I have seen and heard with my own eyes. So although you laugh, it is true. I agree with you that they have been coddled, but the training they have been given by older woke millennial is partially responsible for that. It did not come out of nowhere.
That being said, you are correct in that they have a fully developed brain and should now be using their common sense and critical thinking skills. But the truth is that the older woke millennials are heavily invested in this ideology too - as our boomers. Everyone is. And they are all about coddling everyone of all age groups. I literally had a discussion with my colleague in her 40s that thank-you notes are based in white supremacy. A boomer claimed that our database company wasn't progressive because they didn't have a space for pronouns, but then scoffed when I said I was going to the Lego convention, claiming it would be me and "a bunch of little boys." I explained that I always played with legos, and I was going with my female best friends and her two young DAUGHTERS. But I absolutely agree with you that young people are being coddled away from critical thinking, but older people are not particularly big on critical thinking themselves. It's failing at all levels in nonprofit. Many older millennial are not doing much better, as I witnessed with my sister.
Thank you for these words! They really brought me some comfort and inspiration. It's always hard to be true to ourselves as women. Stay strong and thank you for your writing <3
I lost my job for speaking out against this. I also lost friends and social standing. And you know what? I’d do it all over again.
I am able to stand in full integrity on this subject, and there is no mystery as to my stance. The people who love me love ALL of me- my corners and edges and controversial stances. I don’t have to pretend.
I’m no longer willing to dilute myself in order to not rock the boat. If my readers or community decide I’m ‘harmful’ for honoring women’s spaces and boundaries… see ya! 👋
I appreciate what you do, N3vlynnn 🙏
I so appreciate your story and perspective, and it is refreshing to hear. I feel the same way. I am who I am and unwilling to compromise my values or integrity to go along with the status quo. I will figure out the logistics of that as I go along.
I understand why other people may choose differently, but I don't like feeling like I have to validate their decisions, when they are not aligned with my personal values (or theirs, for that matter)
Love this note about loving all the corners and edges of you-a much needed message for me right now. Thanks, Sarah 💜
Great piece, thanks, and will resonate with all Terfs!!
Get your head above that parapet everyone!!
Have cross posted.
https://dustymasterson.substack.com/p/hell-is-coming-to-breakfast-part-18d
Dusty
Thank you for reading and sharing 💜
Where I work in nonprofit the younger people have been so indoctrinated into gender ideology that they don't know anything else. We were all talking about removing honorifics from our database and the 25 year old said, we'll, just use "Mx." I didn't even occur to her that people wouldn't understand that. On of the senior staff explained thay our older donors would see this as a typo. But that senior staff member, who I believe is in her late 50s and 60s, is just going along with it, as our the other staff members who may be confused but still want to be nice.
They honestly don't understand it's full extent and harm. My supervisor explained some older donors' adherence to honorifics and "younger people's" ideas of gender. But of course it isn't the same. That is why all the substacks saying gender is done, etc., are misguided. It is not. The younger generation knows nothing else.
Yes, they are ignorant and that's why I said ignorance is bliss. But the extent to which they self-righteously defend their ignorance and refuse to engage in critical thinking is their own choice.
Unfortunately, they have been trained by people older than them - although not by much - that thinking critically is bad. At a DEI training we were literally encouraged to write our comments in a section for approval if we didn't know if it was "safe." And that all started more with my age peers, i.e. early middle age. So how can we expect them to have free thought and discussion? Not taking blame from them, just saying, a lot of things have to change before gender identity disappears.
Well let me clarify my earlier statement: Young people DO know how the broader world operates in regards to gender, and they know it very well.
Young folks are not ignorant of the meaning of Mr. and Mrs. or male and female. They KNOW what these things mean, and they understand that it is common usage. They KNOW that old people have only been exposed to these words.
They just actively choose to operate with their own rules (Mx) because that's what their peers say is right. And then, they *choose* to impose it on others.
Now, they ARE likely ignorant of all the harms of gender ideology because of the rampant censorship in our culture, and media biases.
However, they also know that alternative perspectives exist, and they choose to label them as bad or wrong without any engagement with critical thinking. Many of them will do this with aggression, or at the expense of others.
So, No...I do not agree that they "don't know any better". They are not infants!
The 25 year old you mentioned is a full-grown adult with a developed frontal cortex, and his or her formative years were totally free of this language.
Again...the coddling is treating them like they are innocent babies who haven't had exposure to anything else.
You said they were "trained by older people that critical thinking is bad"...what?
They can think for themselves if they want to.
Which "older people" trained them? Woke Millenials? 😹
Gender identity is rooted in the idea of individuality and freedom of expression. It's also rooted in bucking the norms of what the older generation left behind.
They decide what that means to them.
Your coddling is enabling them to live as NPCs.
Yes, gender ideology is a cult and some people do live in a bubble.
But gender ideology works in direct response to what was already in place. You have to have an understanding of how we have been using language and gender norms, in order to embrace gender identity.
Reading your comment again, I agree very much with the last paragraph. Coming from my place in the world, though...I am not optimistic. The other thing I see is the term "gender diverse" going around and it is more important than anything. Honestly, I also think that part of the youth coddling is older people taking the idea that "youth have so much to teach their elders!" taken too far, along with those older people themselves not performing critical thinking. It has become more cult-like in nonprofit, which is why I wanted to start a substack on my experience because I don't think people are aware of what is going on. But I have done one little article and that's it. So I don't know how to get young people to begin critically thinking, because once you are in the environment of mind control that nonprofit has become, it is hard to think for oneself. You see this in people who have left cults, lived in the former Soviet Union, etc. I am one of the last people who doesn't have pronouns in their email signature.
Yes, it was older woke millennial who trained them like this. This is what I have experienced in nonprofit nonprofit for the last ten years. This is what I have seen and heard with my own eyes. So although you laugh, it is true. I agree with you that they have been coddled, but the training they have been given by older woke millennial is partially responsible for that. It did not come out of nowhere.
That being said, you are correct in that they have a fully developed brain and should now be using their common sense and critical thinking skills. But the truth is that the older woke millennials are heavily invested in this ideology too - as our boomers. Everyone is. And they are all about coddling everyone of all age groups. I literally had a discussion with my colleague in her 40s that thank-you notes are based in white supremacy. A boomer claimed that our database company wasn't progressive because they didn't have a space for pronouns, but then scoffed when I said I was going to the Lego convention, claiming it would be me and "a bunch of little boys." I explained that I always played with legos, and I was going with my female best friends and her two young DAUGHTERS. But I absolutely agree with you that young people are being coddled away from critical thinking, but older people are not particularly big on critical thinking themselves. It's failing at all levels in nonprofit. Many older millennial are not doing much better, as I witnessed with my sister.
Thank you for these words! They really brought me some comfort and inspiration. It's always hard to be true to ourselves as women. Stay strong and thank you for your writing <3
So it seems like our allies in this are Conservatives... And Radical Feminists. Strange bedfellows.