Stop Coddling Women Into Silence.

I recently wrote a note about how older lesbians shouldn’t feel bad for the young lesbian and bi women of my generation because most of us are actually quite comfortable with gender ideology. Ignorance is bliss!

This sparked a brief exchange with one of my elderly readers, who explained that most young lesbians probably disagree with transgenderism—they are just keeping their heads down, or adopting they/them pronouns to avoid conflict.

I strongly disagree.

Most lesbians under 40 aggressively defend transgenderism, or they are ready and willing to do so when called upon-like a dormant militia.

Many of them are totally brainwashed, and they believe every lie they’ve been told.

Yes, many bi/lesbian women are hiding behind enby pronouns. And, some women are genuinely fearful.

But they are not all innocent little victims.

Many women will throw another woman under the bus in a heartbeat if that is what it takes to maintain their social status as a “good person”.

This is part of why common ground on this issue is not enough for me to form a friendship with a woman.

I am very outspoken, and I take risks with how I share my voice.

Women who secretly agree with me, but who are not ready to stand with me—cannot really be trusted.

At best, it just creates an imbalanced dynamic where I am able to support them, but they cannot fully support me.

Look, I get it…

Some women are more concerned with financial gain, fitting in, and the like.

Who wants to be in the trenches, garnering a hateful mob? Not I.

I wish I didn’t have to concern myself with this issue.

And believe it or not—I value wealth, ease, and community too.

But the reality is that if your social or economic livelihood is strongly linked to a cause you do not support—your allegiance to that cause will be tested.

And I do not want to be the collateral damage of that test.

I am not going to position myself to be abandoned because a woman in my life was most concerned with saving face and maintaining her own silence.

Often, when I express frustration or disappointment about this in conversations with women—they clap back by explaining to me all the reasons why women remain silent because it’s hard.

It is always, “Come on, give her more credit!” or “Come on…give her a break!”

When there is such a heavy attachment to silence, it becomes the star of the show.

There is no space to discuss the broader implications of what I see.

My interpersonal struggles as a vocal woman are totally eclipsed, and I become the “mean girl” for even mentioning them.

I am supposed to excuse them, stay silent, and keep my head down too.

It’s as if I’m not allowed to hold my own group accountable.

Accountability is too scary.

And I get it…this world is scary.

But at some point, your boundaries are going to be pushed—and the carrot stick is always moving.

So if you don’t decide where your limits are, and protect those limits through your voice and actions—you’re going to be bulldozed and moulded into whatever shape the dominant group wants you in.

And you may not like that shape.

One day, you may not like what you see when you look in the mirror.

So I have decided early on, that I will shape my life in accordance with my values.

It’s a process, and it’s not easy. But it’s worth it.

I think we would all be served by finding our voices, in small and large ways.

Truth is more powerful than any evil, no matter how much it puffs itself up and roars.

Truth is the long game. It always prevails in the end.

Keep the faith in that as you move through life.