great article. this article triggered in me a few observations about the nonbinary conversation that I’ve noticed lately. I feel like “Cis”feminism is getting put into a box. And I’m not too sure what kind of box that is, however, it’s hard to ignore the blatant tare down of what a woman is, and should be. If a woman feels more like a tomboy, or may want to dress more masc. then the majority “woke” would assume and think “that person must not b female or”straight”, they’re queer or non-binary. or trans”. usually anyone who’s not dressed for the male gaze is usually summed up to being apart of the LBGTQ+ community. it’s really sad because I feel like not only are women being erased, but I feel like the diversity of what makes a woman is being erased. And it’s not always wearing pink wearing dresses lashes and make up. It’s so much more than that and beauty. I feel like it’s being minimalized to non-binary or queerness.
i’m not a huge Jhené Monáe fan, but I enjoy her visuals of the music videos and her artistry so like you I like to poke in here n there to see what she’s up to and so with her recent project I am a little disappointed because I feel like she’s drinking the juice and instead of diversifying femininity, she’s leaning into a trend. That’s ultimately erasing women.
Hey Jamila, thanks for sharing your thoughts! Yeah, I appreciate you for noticing that and calling it out for what it is: a blatant teardown of womanhood, and the diversification of what a woman should be and look like.
I agree with this piece you mentioned about any woman who is not dressed for the male gaze being summed up as "LGBT" (it's usually not about being read as a lesbian; they just consider you nonbinary/trans and having denounced your womanhood). It's horrible, and it's something I've wrote about a lot in recent articles...regarding how (mostly white) people they/them me presumably because I wear my hair in freeform locs, don't wear makeup, don't shave my facial or body hair, and am just overall in my natural state as a woman.
I consider myself to be feminine, I do wear feminine clothing, and yes I do love women romantically but I don't feel like it's about being read as gay. It's about my presentation of womanhood and a statement of how because I don't fit into that box I must be transgender or trying to be more like a man.
I agree that Janelle is perpetuating a dangerous trend that is ultimately harming us, some more than others are negatively affected by it but it just needs to stop.
What a gorgeous article. It is SO WELL articulated and echoes a lot of what I've also witnessed in QTBIPOC / poly circles, both as an observer and a (temporary) participant. Indeed, claiming nonbinary as an statement of self-love is a self-contradiction. It is wild to me that that so many QTBIPOC-identified people seem to have their heads on straight in other portions of their self-love journeys, yet miss this glaring inconsistency. And it is wild to me that it is taboo to even question the orthodoxy of nonbinary and trans ideology in those spaces, even from a shared intention of healing the wounds that come with being "nonconforming" in a society that rewards conformity. Sometimes, I think of the amazing conversations that I might have had with old QT identified female friends had we all cultivated the ability to "go there," and talk about what it *really means* to be self-loving in a culture that would much rather we dissociate and self-harm. Nevertheless, I wish them all health and wholeness. I'm also on my journey. Thank you for the clarity of this article.
Yassss thank you so much, Sia. I so feel you on this piece with the cognitive dissonance that so many QT-identified women have. So many amazing women have fallen for the wokie doke, and ultimately sacrifice their ability to fully and holistically love themselves as a result. There are definitely some major blockages there. I do have faith that there will be more space for conversation in the future, as the paradigm inevitably crumbles. I appreciate you reading and sharing your thoughts. 💜
I bet you don’t have any of this insanity in Gaza, Sudan, Ukraine, …people here have too much time thinking about just themselves! They don’t have any real problems, just self absorption!
White Heterosexuals started calling themselves "Queer" since 2015. It dovetailed with the "Trans Tipping Point " with Laverne Cox on the cover of Time magazine.
I would advise you to make a Medium account, if you don't already have one. They will have an archive of when articles first popped up "Am I Queer Enough" "What My Queerness Means for Me" etc.
I'm counting on you to one day write a book about the history of this Era. The actual beginnings which relies on French philosophers they are focused on theories of the individual. The Godfather of Queer Theory: Micheal Foucault. He was known to have sexcation in Algeria where he fucked 9 and 10 year old brown and black boys.
But I will tell you why the Trans Liberation Movement was so embraced by White Liberals. Since 1989 through the present, 2.5 generation of White students where exposed to Queer Theory and Gender Studies <--( now just transgender studies). They weren't able to participate in the other Civil Rights Movements, but they could be a part of this one from the beginning. Motivated by being " on the right side of history. "
This is another White Men's Rights Movement that only effects the Civil rights of women and girls.
It does not effect MEN, and therefore the White Supremacist Patriarchy or the internal Racial/Ethnic Patriarchies.
Powerfully expressed, ty. I watch the current mania spread like oil over a shoreline and am profoundly saddened when another one rises, the authentic self made unrecognizable. I don't follow Janelle Monae or any celebrity, really, but have enjoyed occasional exposure to a person who conveys intelligence among other traits. I have a lot of respect for intelligence, but not that it can also become a maelstrom of thought in which rationalizing from all angles can result in startling blindness. I have, on occasion, suffered in this way myself.
Your penultimate paragraph is gracious, a thought I share for her and many others.
Ugh, thank you for saying what I’ve been thinking and keeping to myself.
It was this line for me in particular: “Whenever I see someone claim that they are Nonbinary, it’s a clear sign that there is a lot of work to do.”
Hit the nail 👏🏽 on 👏🏽 the 👏🏽 head!! One of my friends came out to me as nonbinary and when I asked what brought this on, they said “The NFT community I’m in has been sharing their stories and I resonated with their feelings.” 🙄
What I know and witness about my friend is she’s insecure, not properly parented, gullible, and naive. A few months after the announcement, she’s been getting reoccurring yeast infections. I think that’s her bodies way of trying to warn her of the dangers of rejecting her feminine identity. But every time I ask her challenging questions, she avoids me for a few weeks.
It feels great to know that I’m not the only one with thoughts like these. Thank you for writing this!
Hi Vashti, thank you for reading and sharing how my piece resonated with you. 💜 I definitely think getting recurring yeast infections is a psycho-somatic response to rejecting her womanhood, and you also never know what other behaviors might be coming along with her dissociation, which predispose her to reproductive health issues. Sounds like you are not compatible as friends. I distance myself from people who follow gender ideology, no matter how they identify.
great article. this article triggered in me a few observations about the nonbinary conversation that I’ve noticed lately. I feel like “Cis”feminism is getting put into a box. And I’m not too sure what kind of box that is, however, it’s hard to ignore the blatant tare down of what a woman is, and should be. If a woman feels more like a tomboy, or may want to dress more masc. then the majority “woke” would assume and think “that person must not b female or”straight”, they’re queer or non-binary. or trans”. usually anyone who’s not dressed for the male gaze is usually summed up to being apart of the LBGTQ+ community. it’s really sad because I feel like not only are women being erased, but I feel like the diversity of what makes a woman is being erased. And it’s not always wearing pink wearing dresses lashes and make up. It’s so much more than that and beauty. I feel like it’s being minimalized to non-binary or queerness.
i’m not a huge Jhené Monáe fan, but I enjoy her visuals of the music videos and her artistry so like you I like to poke in here n there to see what she’s up to and so with her recent project I am a little disappointed because I feel like she’s drinking the juice and instead of diversifying femininity, she’s leaning into a trend. That’s ultimately erasing women.
Hey Jamila, thanks for sharing your thoughts! Yeah, I appreciate you for noticing that and calling it out for what it is: a blatant teardown of womanhood, and the diversification of what a woman should be and look like.
I agree with this piece you mentioned about any woman who is not dressed for the male gaze being summed up as "LGBT" (it's usually not about being read as a lesbian; they just consider you nonbinary/trans and having denounced your womanhood). It's horrible, and it's something I've wrote about a lot in recent articles...regarding how (mostly white) people they/them me presumably because I wear my hair in freeform locs, don't wear makeup, don't shave my facial or body hair, and am just overall in my natural state as a woman.
I consider myself to be feminine, I do wear feminine clothing, and yes I do love women romantically but I don't feel like it's about being read as gay. It's about my presentation of womanhood and a statement of how because I don't fit into that box I must be transgender or trying to be more like a man.
I agree that Janelle is perpetuating a dangerous trend that is ultimately harming us, some more than others are negatively affected by it but it just needs to stop.
@Jamila - so well said! You’re right, gender ideology is erasing both women AND the diversity of women.
What a gorgeous article. It is SO WELL articulated and echoes a lot of what I've also witnessed in QTBIPOC / poly circles, both as an observer and a (temporary) participant. Indeed, claiming nonbinary as an statement of self-love is a self-contradiction. It is wild to me that that so many QTBIPOC-identified people seem to have their heads on straight in other portions of their self-love journeys, yet miss this glaring inconsistency. And it is wild to me that it is taboo to even question the orthodoxy of nonbinary and trans ideology in those spaces, even from a shared intention of healing the wounds that come with being "nonconforming" in a society that rewards conformity. Sometimes, I think of the amazing conversations that I might have had with old QT identified female friends had we all cultivated the ability to "go there," and talk about what it *really means* to be self-loving in a culture that would much rather we dissociate and self-harm. Nevertheless, I wish them all health and wholeness. I'm also on my journey. Thank you for the clarity of this article.
Yassss thank you so much, Sia. I so feel you on this piece with the cognitive dissonance that so many QT-identified women have. So many amazing women have fallen for the wokie doke, and ultimately sacrifice their ability to fully and holistically love themselves as a result. There are definitely some major blockages there. I do have faith that there will be more space for conversation in the future, as the paradigm inevitably crumbles. I appreciate you reading and sharing your thoughts. 💜
Let’s hope this is another one of those Extraordinary Delusions and the Madness of crowds! Let’s hope there will finally be a day of sanity!
I bet you don’t have any of this insanity in Gaza, Sudan, Ukraine, …people here have too much time thinking about just themselves! They don’t have any real problems, just self absorption!
White Heterosexuals started calling themselves "Queer" since 2015. It dovetailed with the "Trans Tipping Point " with Laverne Cox on the cover of Time magazine.
I would advise you to make a Medium account, if you don't already have one. They will have an archive of when articles first popped up "Am I Queer Enough" "What My Queerness Means for Me" etc.
I'm counting on you to one day write a book about the history of this Era. The actual beginnings which relies on French philosophers they are focused on theories of the individual. The Godfather of Queer Theory: Micheal Foucault. He was known to have sexcation in Algeria where he fucked 9 and 10 year old brown and black boys.
But I will tell you why the Trans Liberation Movement was so embraced by White Liberals. Since 1989 through the present, 2.5 generation of White students where exposed to Queer Theory and Gender Studies <--( now just transgender studies). They weren't able to participate in the other Civil Rights Movements, but they could be a part of this one from the beginning. Motivated by being " on the right side of history. "
This is another White Men's Rights Movement that only effects the Civil rights of women and girls.
It does not effect MEN, and therefore the White Supremacist Patriarchy or the internal Racial/Ethnic Patriarchies.
Powerfully expressed, ty. I watch the current mania spread like oil over a shoreline and am profoundly saddened when another one rises, the authentic self made unrecognizable. I don't follow Janelle Monae or any celebrity, really, but have enjoyed occasional exposure to a person who conveys intelligence among other traits. I have a lot of respect for intelligence, but not that it can also become a maelstrom of thought in which rationalizing from all angles can result in startling blindness. I have, on occasion, suffered in this way myself.
Your penultimate paragraph is gracious, a thought I share for her and many others.
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts! I completely understand where you’re coming from. 🌺
Ugh, thank you for saying what I’ve been thinking and keeping to myself.
It was this line for me in particular: “Whenever I see someone claim that they are Nonbinary, it’s a clear sign that there is a lot of work to do.”
Hit the nail 👏🏽 on 👏🏽 the 👏🏽 head!! One of my friends came out to me as nonbinary and when I asked what brought this on, they said “The NFT community I’m in has been sharing their stories and I resonated with their feelings.” 🙄
What I know and witness about my friend is she’s insecure, not properly parented, gullible, and naive. A few months after the announcement, she’s been getting reoccurring yeast infections. I think that’s her bodies way of trying to warn her of the dangers of rejecting her feminine identity. But every time I ask her challenging questions, she avoids me for a few weeks.
It feels great to know that I’m not the only one with thoughts like these. Thank you for writing this!
Hi Vashti, thank you for reading and sharing how my piece resonated with you. 💜 I definitely think getting recurring yeast infections is a psycho-somatic response to rejecting her womanhood, and you also never know what other behaviors might be coming along with her dissociation, which predispose her to reproductive health issues. Sounds like you are not compatible as friends. I distance myself from people who follow gender ideology, no matter how they identify.