You capture something that I’ve been struggling with. I’ve never had lots of close friends but I have a lot of old acquaintances who I see periodically.
Slowly I am filtering a number of them out because of my views on women’s rights. I cannot be bothered to self edit and feel if I cannot discuss things I find important then the friendship isn’t there.
Yes, I hear you on that. I have recently learned that even acquaintanceships must carry a certain level of alignment because we can't even have a basic conversation where I share what is going on with my life, without me having to self-edit. My recent post was referencing that experience, and it was such a wake up call!
Yeah it’s sad there are only two unappealing choices:
1) have friendships super aligned on X topic but not Y or Z topic; find different friends aligned on Y but not X and Z; and a different group aligned on Z but not X and Y lol…and self-edit continuously depending on the friend / acquaintance, while enjoying what one can about this friend/acquaintance (“be grateful for what you have” approach)
2) give up on the above and just be alone and weird and happy alone (easier said than done as everyone needs at least some human connection to feel sane…but then we are back at option (1) of self-editing…)
I don't entirely agree! I think it's possible to find people who are holistically aligned with you in all the areas that matter most. I think the "grateful for what you have" approach to misaligned relationships is another way of giving up on having what you truly deserve.
It takes intention and clarity to reserve space for the right people, and to be able to identify and attract those people into your life.
In the meantime you're right that this can often lead to periodic moments of solitude like what I have experienced. However I am slowly generating a stronger sense of authentic community because of the high intentionality I have held over my relationships.
I appreciate your clarity and unflinching commitment to yourself and your path. This is something I am constantly striving for. It’s a beautiful thing to see and thanks for modeling it. I’m curious, do you know anything about the enneagram? If so, do you know what your type is, and if so, are you willing to share? Some of us have greater access to the commitment that you possess and some of us have to really work at it…like for a lifetime!
Hey! Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts & appreciation. I really do appreciate it. Authenticity / Truth Telling is not an easy journey to walk but I have never been able to *not* walk it, if that makes sense...and not just with gender ideology but other things too. I do think it is karmic. That is an interesting thought about the enneagram! I will look into it sometime and reach back when I have more insight haha! 💜
You capture something that I’ve been struggling with. I’ve never had lots of close friends but I have a lot of old acquaintances who I see periodically.
Slowly I am filtering a number of them out because of my views on women’s rights. I cannot be bothered to self edit and feel if I cannot discuss things I find important then the friendship isn’t there.
Yes, I hear you on that. I have recently learned that even acquaintanceships must carry a certain level of alignment because we can't even have a basic conversation where I share what is going on with my life, without me having to self-edit. My recent post was referencing that experience, and it was such a wake up call!
Yeah it’s sad there are only two unappealing choices:
1) have friendships super aligned on X topic but not Y or Z topic; find different friends aligned on Y but not X and Z; and a different group aligned on Z but not X and Y lol…and self-edit continuously depending on the friend / acquaintance, while enjoying what one can about this friend/acquaintance (“be grateful for what you have” approach)
2) give up on the above and just be alone and weird and happy alone (easier said than done as everyone needs at least some human connection to feel sane…but then we are back at option (1) of self-editing…)
I don't entirely agree! I think it's possible to find people who are holistically aligned with you in all the areas that matter most. I think the "grateful for what you have" approach to misaligned relationships is another way of giving up on having what you truly deserve.
It takes intention and clarity to reserve space for the right people, and to be able to identify and attract those people into your life.
In the meantime you're right that this can often lead to periodic moments of solitude like what I have experienced. However I am slowly generating a stronger sense of authentic community because of the high intentionality I have held over my relationships.
That’s great to hear, I am being more intentional too but tricky to find that holistic alignment on all things that matter most!
I appreciate your clarity and unflinching commitment to yourself and your path. This is something I am constantly striving for. It’s a beautiful thing to see and thanks for modeling it. I’m curious, do you know anything about the enneagram? If so, do you know what your type is, and if so, are you willing to share? Some of us have greater access to the commitment that you possess and some of us have to really work at it…like for a lifetime!
Hey! Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts & appreciation. I really do appreciate it. Authenticity / Truth Telling is not an easy journey to walk but I have never been able to *not* walk it, if that makes sense...and not just with gender ideology but other things too. I do think it is karmic. That is an interesting thought about the enneagram! I will look into it sometime and reach back when I have more insight haha! 💜