The audio version of this article is available here.
I am the kind of person who will walk out on my shift if my soul is screaming.
Y’all…I just stumbled upon this video called, “Stop Telling Artists to Get a Real Job”.
In light of my recent post, sharing what I’ve been going through in feeling judged and misunderstood for my choices and circumstance in life…everything Alecia Renece and her husband are saying is pouring into my ears like medicine. In fact, it’s so potent I had to stop 10 minutes in, just to write this blog.
See, this is why community, and being around like-minded people is important. Being an Artist, Entrepreneur, or living any sort of unconventional life can be isolating, especially while you’re still figuring it out. A lot of the platforms that highlight entrepreneurship, only highlight those who have made a certain amount of money, or obtained a certain following—ignoring the very real process.
I have been a fully self-employed Artist for the past 7 years, and I do consider myself to be a successful Artist, for what I’ve accomplished thus far, on all levels…
But guess what? Success is not a destination, it’s a ride. And we all have the power to define it for ourselves.
The fact that I am experiencing challenges and financial difficulty right now does not mean that I’m on the wrong path, that I’m a failure, or that I should give up and hunker down with a full-time job.
I have SO many thoughts on “jobs”, respectability politics, and the pressure to hide behind a job in hard times in order to appear “responsible and hardworking” after my living situation cajoled me into going on my first serious job hunt in years.
I am still in the thick of my process, but I will write out loud what I have always known and what I have recently been reminded of:
Jobs are no more stable or lucrative than running a creative business.
They just function differently.
Job security is a myth. You are no more guaranteed to stay in a “permanent” employed position, than you are in a month-to-month contract with a client.
And with the current state of affairs? Employees have no legal protection against getting fired for the most petty reasons, including things you say or do outside of the workplace.
One significant difference with jobs is, if you do get fired, laid off, or simply discover that you would like to find something more suitable to your needs, you’re thrown into the circus of the job market, where you’re at the behest of eating whatever is served to you on job boards. Depending on how badly you need work, you may be forced to tap dance for peanuts and pennies.
It makes you completely dependent on a broken system.
Is it not better to create your own?
Companies take advantage of people’s desperation, as well as their mental and cultural dependency on the job market.
They want theeee absolute most, for the absolute minimum.
The bamboozlement is out of control.
People talk to poor folks about getting a job as if they’re sooo accessible.
“Need money? Need a roof over your head? Just get a job. Like…duh!”
The entire process to find anything can take months, and will leave you hanging to figure out how to survive in the meantime.
Jobs are not necessarily the most easily accessible way to make money, especially if you’re living on the margins in any way, and especially if you’re truly in need.
And I am supposed to just drop the one source of income that has always been there for me through thick and thin, to make myself a pawn in this disastrous marketplace?
Make it make sense.
I find it extremely patronizing when people suggest that I should get a full-time job, as if it never dawned on me that there are other paths to take in life, or that I haven’t thought my choices through.
It often stems from the idea that Artists who haven’t made it “big” are irresponsible Peter Pans who are frivolously fettering their time away in a bohemian lifestyle, having fun and not thinking about work.
Some folks feel like they’re hitting you on the side of the head with a dose of reality. Like, “I hate to break it to ya, but it’s time to wake up and be an adult!”
Newsflash: Art is work.
Our cultural perception of “real work” is totally skewed towards the image of having an authority figure (a lucrative business owner) tell you what to do, how to do it, and what you ought to be paid.
Living behind a white picket fence and a salary is the ultimate receipt to show that you are a productive member of society, even if it comes with a ball and chain.
I understand that being an Artist comes with its own challenges, and we’re not exempt from navigating our broken, exploitative system—but we do have more autonomy to position ourselves optimally within it.
I know who I am. I’ve been walking in my shoes for my whole life. I understand how I interface with society, how I’m positioned in various spaces, my values, and my vision.
For someone like me who doesn’t fit into a mould, Creative Entrepreneurship has been the way for me to wield my unique gifts and be properly compensated for them, instead of being pressured to dim my light in a workplace where I am alienated for being who I am.
My presence in most workplaces is always a ‘one of these things is not like the other’ song. No matter how much I try to squeeze myself into a box, I am going to be ‘found out’ for being different in the “wrong way”, and ousted for it. Whereas most people see jobs as stable and reliable, I see my reliance on them as high-risk.
My lived experience has taught me that it’s safer and more secure for me to prioritize my gifts and talents in my income-planning.
My Art is my Ace card. It’s always been the thing that has come through for me when I’ve needed it the most.
Where were all those jobs when I was hungry? Nowhere. It was always my Art, and Patrons of my Art, that came through when employers were snubbing my applications, laying me off, and making work intolerable.
Still is. I still live off my Art, as I look for work and cultivate other supportive income streams.
It’s my backbone.
Look. I’m not saying that jobs don’t have their place, or that it’s not possible to find wonderful job opportunities.
I reflect fondly on my time working as an Usher at Carnegie Hall, 12 years ago.
I did not have a business at that time, but I was very intentional about what kind of work I needed to support myself as I completed my film, and it ticked every box and then some. I still brag about how cushy it was sometimes! The reason why I left is because it had served its purpose: My film took off, and I needed space to fly with it.
There are also some folks who have thriving, fulfilling careers that are based on full-time employment, but such people were usually very intentional about creating that.
Misty Copeland, an Artist I respect and admire, is a full-time employee (10am-7pm, 6 days a week) with the American Ballet Theatre. Of course, she has a ton of other entrepreneurial things going on that has made her wealthy, but her employment is a huge medium for her to fulfill her purpose. ABT is her professional home, it was her dream, and it was her platform for the world to witness her gifts.
So this is less of a statement about actual workers, or judging what is right for who. This is more about the market, dominant social narratives about Artists and Work, and where I personally find myself within it.
I am a creative entrepreneur.
This blog is work. My film is work. My Pole Dance is work.
I also run a professional cat-sitting business (another passion that has enhanced my quality of life), and I have other businesses in the works—one that I am building into a primary source of income right now, and one that I plan to rekindle in the next era of my life, when I am differently resourced.
Each of these elements has their place and space, and they all work together to support me in different ways.
Creating a sustainable income stream, even from a gift that flows naturally to you— is not a passive process.
Art takes time. It takes energy. It takes money. It takes respecting my conduit of inspiration. I make a lot of it look fun and easy, and I am passionate and take pride in what I do. But make no mistake, that it is all work. And I have to build my lifestyle to hold space for it.
People who don’t respect what I do, think this all happens from thin air.
Just because you like something, doesn’t mean you respect it.
I remember in my recent post about being at-risk for homelessness, I quoted an interaction I had with a young woman who reached out to me, to suggest that I make my blog private so I can be more palatable for a ‘real job’.
“You can always speak up for women and make writing your full-time income when it’s safe to do so,” she said, while also telling me that people no longer value or pay for long-form content, while simultaneously being someone who has never paid me a dime for my writing, but who also very much enjoys my writing, and supposedly considers me a “thought leader”.
I had a lot to say to her—most of which I quoted verbatim in that post. But, here is a snippet:
The reason why you even follow me is because of the content I create, right? Consider that this didn’t happen from thin air. I’ve had to make decisions in my life to remain true enough to my voice, to even say and do the things I have done, or to cultivate my various Artistries. I have had to choose to develop myself to be the person I am today.
It begs the question: If you know that I’m an Artist, and you appreciate my work and have learned from it, and you think it’s essential, why not just support me so that I can thrive?
If you see me struggling, and my work is available for purchase, why not just buy my work, donate to me, and/or spread the love and encourage others to do the same—instead of guiding me into a box that will stifle me and snuff out my voice?
Also, before telling me to hide my blog to work for someone else, have you considered that this blog is not only a channel for my own creative self-expression and purposeful living, but it is also a supportive source of income for me?
Have you considered that, even if you don’t value my work enough to support me in any tangible way, that other people certainly do?
The money I earn from this platform doesn’t pay all my bills at the moment, but it does pay one.
My blog is a viable stream of income that can withstand the dominant culture, where it’s trendy to fire women for saying No.
There’s no glass ceiling for me, here.
And money aside, this is just an integral part of my path.
That matters to me.
Food for thought.
I am open to whatever works for me.
If I feel that a job is what I need to support myself—I will seek it out. I don’t need other people telling me to get one.
My Art is also a valuable, lucrative resource in my life that I have worked hard to develop, and it requires my energy to sustain and grow.
I am very selective about where and how I invest my energy, outside of my own creations. And to be honest, finding a job is not always the right thing for me to do.
If I want to boost my income, I usually need to think about how best I can leverage my Art to make more money first, and structure everything else around that.
The more robustly I’ve developed myself as an Artist over the years, and the more entrepreneurial activity I manage, the more delicate a decision it is to work for someone else in any capacity. It is actually a very Big decision that needs to be mindfully considered.
I am creating my own system, rather than simply falling into someone else’s.
If I work for someone else, it still needs to work within my system.
And those opportunities, need to be sought after with intentionality.
But when people who don’t have those things going on for themselves, suggest that I blanketly “get a job”, to just throw myself into “anything” or judge me for not having one—they don’t have my best interests in mind.
They are not considering my personal needs, priorities, or dreams. They don’t consider all the things I carry with me through life, or my limitations and boundaries.
They didn’t even ask.
They are not factoring me into the equation. There is no love there.
They are just unsolicitedly advising me to make cookie-cutter life decisions, because that’s how they walk through life.
They think I must have a lot of nerve to be selective about where I place my energy, especially when I’m struggling. When business is slow, they think my other pursuits are just frivolous activities that can never support me like a ‘real job’.
But, Oh! When business inevitably picks up—all hail the Queen, right?
It doesn’t work like that. I have to prepare and do the work for those manifestations.
I have to steward them.
That’s the part folks often don’t see or appreciate, because it’s unglamorous.
Some people only want to cheer you on, after you cross the finish line. They don’t want to support you while you’re training. They don’t know how.
Any work I do outside of my Art must be in place to support me in my Creativity, Wellbeing, Purpose, and Freedom because those things come first.
It would be a bridge until my Art is stable enough to fully support me in a way that is sustainable, and it cannot holistically take more than it gives. It must support me in being and doing me. And it will never get my full-time.
This is and has always been the case.
I am not just a body droning through life whilst affording to live in a cute apartment. That’s not goals. I am not here to merely exist in a shell of myself. I have a calling.
Some people in my life have been angry, jealous, and misunderstanding that I have made that decision and tried to kick me when I was down and struggling, but it never changed my orientation. It never changed the truth about me.
I am just built different and I feel that in a past life, I lived through the pain of the robotic, soul-sucking way that people often live their lives and I simply cannot tolerate it.
I am the kind of person who will walk out on my shift if my soul is screaming.
I would rather live in a garbage can, than be drained and stripped of my substance.
Knowing who I am, it is absolutely irresponsible for me to accept work that I know will be unsustainable, stifle my Art, bring me mental or physical illness, or make me emotionally vulnerable to accepting other forms of abuse in my life.
It’s irresponsible to lean into an ecosystem that can’t hold my full weight.
It’s irresponsible to put all of my eggs in the basket of being someone’s disposable cog in the wheel, when I could be cultivating security by diversifying my income streams.
So I choose another path that will bring me greater stability, even if it’s slower to grow. Even if that path doesn’t look as glamorous.
The greatest assets I have in my life are my mind, heart, and spirit and I believe honoring myself and applying my gifts will bring me what I need.