Remedies for Lonely Gender Critical Women
Finding Community through Authenticity.
As some of you may know, loneliness is something I have a lot of experience with. I even wrote an entire blog post, sharing my journey and how I heal my deep & chronic loneliness, and offering insight for people who would like to heal theirs. In my adult years, I’ve come to realize how integral healthy human connection and community is for my mental health, and I’ve prioritized fostering those things in my life.
I love the woman that I’ve become—but paving my path to self-love, personal freedom, and being outspoken about my truth, has not been easy.
It’s often meant that I haven’t always been able to fit into conventional community spaces that are specifically designed for groups I fit into: Black Woman, Sapphic Woman, Pole Dancer, Gender-Critical…you name it. The list goes on.
Many of those spaces where I haven’t felt welcome or at home for one reason or another, were often the only accessible community spaces that existed for women like myself. Yet still, I’ve had to leave those spaces and not look back, because they were not right for me.
This has contributed to long periods of isolation and loneliness. It’s led me to question where I will nurture my Art, how I will obtain resources to survive and thrive, and how I will make friends.
I won’t paint a story that I “don’t fit in anywhere” or that I’m “misunderstood”. I can definitely be a social butterfly, in the right context.
I’m a Renaissance Woman. Because I’m so eclectic, I know how to talk and relate to various types of people—even people who would cancel me if they knew anything about my views.
But I’ve come to realize that I carry a very particular energy that isn’t for everybody, and that’s okay.
I’m cool with preserving my valuable energy for soul-making people and spaces. It makes it all the more special when I find relationships that are the right fit for me, whether that be romantic, platonic, professional, or otherwise.
I’ve learned to carry myself through the world, knowing that I will always have to carve out my own lane. And carving that lane will be challenging, but once the path is laid, I will be able to attract people who can ride right alongside me. And, I will have also paved the way for those who can follow in my footsteps.
It’s always worth it to walk your true path.
I’ve been part of various online gender-critical women’s communities within the last couple of years. Time and time again, I’ve seen the same thing:
A woman creates a post talking about how she feels like she’s the only woman in her area who feels the way she does. She is surrounded by wokies, all of her acquaintances and friends are indoctrinated by queer/trans ideology, or they are just completely clueless. She feels completely isolated, only able to connect with like-minded women through online spaces. How does she make friends? Is there anyone who wants to chat?
ANYBODY OUT THERE?!?!
I see this so often, and I’ve been there too. For myself especially, I never felt at home or fully seen within typical gender-critical spaces because they are so white and myopic (and don’t have any consciousness around wellness). I had to leave those spaces, and was left with nothing. That is what led me to create my own space.
I no longer operate the online Sapphic WOC Space, but somehow, I have reached a point in my life where I don’t feel so isolated or backed against the wall by wokeness, on a social level.
After so much time of feeling alone in my perspective, of feeling like nobody around me sees things the way I do…I’ve found a simple formula that enables me to create meaningful, authentic connections with like-minded women, and to find women who I feel safe sharing my opinions with.