I Miss Being a Sensual Woman
My Wintered Connection to Pole Dance and Sexual Healing Arts
In the rare moments when I’m able to visit a pole studio, I am reminded of how much I miss pole dancing. Yesterday was one of those times. A wave of grief washes over me as I recall the movements my body used to make so routinely, weaving new creative pathways as I go along.
Pole dancing has been an immense source of power in my life. It has offered me the power of tapping into my feminine sensuality, as well as the height of my athleticism, self-governed Artistry, and discipline.
For the 8 years that I devoted myself to the pursuit of becoming a professional Pole Artist, I fought extremely hard to nurture my craft and keep the Pole flame alive, even when so many structural barriers stood in my way. I wrote about that journey in my first memoir.
As life has taken its turn, I have had to let go of Pole as a practice while I stabilize. I sold my pole last year, with the intention of getting a new one when I move.
In my own way, I still fight to keep the flame burning through adjacent cross-training, such as Flexibility Training, and weekly Circus classes on the Aerial Silks and other apparatus…
But none of those things hold a candle to Pole.
To be clear, they are all in the service of Pole, but they are not a substitute.
Now I realize that me missing pole is not just about missing the practice itself (I do love the practice but it was so much work, holy shit)…
It is also about yearning to get in touch with my sensuality in a way that I have not often felt safe doing in this era of my life.
I’d like to share what hardships have distanced me from my practices with pole dance and sensual healing, how I have been navigating this transition, and what I envision for myself in the future.
I will also share some reflections of how this connects with my past, including an excerpt from my memoir, as well as some imagery from my recent practices.