Apparently, Anyone Can Be a Butch Lesbian These Days

How Queer Culture Has Watered Down the Masculine Lesbian Identity

A couple of weeks ago, I watched a Youtube video on Them called “Will 8 Masc Lesbians Disagree With Each Other?

Surprisingly, the entire cast was entirely comprised of masculine-presenting lesbians, and there was no funny business with including men who identify as butch lesbians. So, I watched the whole thing.

The premise of the video was simple: each cast member shares a “controversial take”, and the cast members will stand on the side of the room that represents their personal level of agreeability with it.

There were all sorts of silly “controversial” takes that were not the least bit controversial, such as: “I enjoy dating bisexuals” or “Monogamy is embarrassing”, etc.

But the one take that caught my attention was:

“Masculine lesbians can be just as feminine as feminine lesbians.”

Suddenly, all the lesbians under 40 rolled to one side of the room to agree with the take, leaving the elderly black butch lesbian to disagree all by herself.

One of the younger cast members said to Pat (the elderly butch), “If we’re doing it based on clothes, I’m over here with you…but inside, I’m still a woman.”

Pat clarified, “I am a woman. I am not a man. But I think differently from my feminine counterparts, and it is not the same.”

Then, then some other cast members started explaining that they are “all female” and “girly-girl” on the inside, despite their masculine appearance.

A thick wave of annoyance washed over me.

If you are just as feminine as any other feminine woman, then how exactly are you masculine?

What does the word “masculine” actually mean if you are defining it through women who are the polar opposite of masculine?

And, you see, this is what irked me.

Because this is what queer culture does. It mish-mashes clear language into meaningless slop, and demands everyone to soften their spine for the sake of inclusion, so that those who don’t authentically belong to a particular group can identify their way into it, as they wish.

I knew that the younger women were trying to be “progressive” and make it so that butch women would not be placed into a box.

But unfortunately, it’s not giving liberation. It is giving confusion.

It’s giving: anyone can be a “masc” lesbian.

All it does is erase what it means to be a butch lesbian, through erasing the meaning of masculinity, and conflating womanhood with femininity.

As someone who is attracted to masculine lesbians, this is the sort of phony-baloney nonsense that has discouraged me from dating.

Over the years, I have found some common themes around the effort to water down the masculine lesbian identity in the name of “inclusion” and “freedom”.

One of the most prominent themes is the complaint that femmes treat masculine women like men, and expect them to take on a “male role” in the partnership.

Now. I am not going to deny that many women, no matter how they identify, can bring patriarchal baggage into their lesbian relationships. Expecting a masculine woman to “act like a man” is one manifestation of that.

However…what exactly does that mean?

Because most of the time, when I see “masculine women” complain about being “treated like a man” she always follows it up with statements about wanting “princess treatment” from their girlfriend.

In other words, she wants to be a feminine counterpart to her feminine partner, at least part-time.

And that is all well and good!

But my question remains: If you want to be treated like Cinderella at the Royal ball, what exactly makes you masculine?!

Here is my shortlist of what it actually means to treat a woman like a man:

• Expecting her to physically challenge a man to defend a woman.

• Expecting her to lift heavy items that even a physically fit woman would have trouble lifting on her own.

• Expecting her to fully provide for her female partner, financially.

This is right about where the “man treatment” begins and ends in my book.

Because to me, expecting a woman to behave like a man is strictly limited to expecting her to do things that are only fair to expect of a man, due to his unique male biology.

And I must add—there is nothing wrong with a butch woman financially providing for her female partner. Some women are very much capable of doing so.

I only added finances to my shortlist because I am of the belief that a man should be able and willing to financially provide for his female partner because he is capable of impregnating her and thus, reducing her capacity to provide for herself.

This is part of why women look for men with resources as part of natural selection; it provides security for the unique risks she takes in sharing her body with him.

And once again, it boils down to biology.

In lesbian relationships, this is more of an option rather than a need. Personally, I think that taking care of bills is a masculine quality, and it’s OK to want a partner who likes to pay for things.

But ultimately, how much money each woman contributes to courtship or shared bills is based on what is fair and/or mutually desired for the unique relationship dynamic, rather than a necessary gender role.

Anyway, I digress—if a woman prefers women who are more dominant…it does not mean she is treating her girlfriend like a man.

It means she enjoys masculinity.

In reality, femmes are being shamed for being attracted to women who “present” masculine and also desiring the inside to match the outside.

We are shamed for not rolling with the punches when we unwrap the irresistible box of butch goodies only to be met with a “fluid” limp-wristed Queen.

Here is my actual theory on this huge “Queer” resentment against butch-loving-femmes such as myself: