Ifẹ ~ My Story of Black Lesbian Love & Sensual Healing

In Yoruba language, Ifẹ means “Love”. I chose Ife as the name of this book, because in so many ways, this story is about love—the love that I shared with a woman named Ife, and the love I’ve grown to nurture within myself through the healing I gleaned from that relationship. 

In the summer of 2021, when I was still living in Berlin, I published my very first memoir. The day I held the very first copy in my hands of the very first print book I had ever written—is the same day that I whisked myself away to the German countryside for a celebratory retreat in nature, in community with other women of color. This was the day I met Ife. 

By the end of that weekend, I wrote a poem about a very special, intimate moment we shared together, titled Ifẹ, that I decided to publish in the latter part of my book. I nestled that poem in the book’s epilogue, between the past and future. This memoir, Ife, tells the full story behind that poem. 

It tells my story, of that magical weekend I took for rest, rejuvenation, and self-care. The healing I experienced through sensuality, nature, and black lesbian love. It tells the story of how our union crystallized under the stars, how deeply we unraveled within each other’s arms, and ultimately fell apart from each other. 

It tells my story of sexual healing, Of healing from emotional abuse, Of healing from a breakup that lived within my body and heart for far longer than the time we were together. It’s my story of how I’ve come home to myself after having to walk away from someone who had made a home within my heart—a partnership where we both expressed our deep desire to live the rest of our days together.   

It’s my story of how I’ve breathed life into myself through grief, and found my voice and my power, through it all. 

I like to think of this story as an orgasmic wave. There is a slow, nurturing build to the climax, multiple waves of erotic pleasure, a dance with euphoria, and a sobering journey to a more grounded space. We take root in sensuality, unconditional love, and a delicate promise for more and more sensual expansion through the cleansing work of healing. 

This story is very intimate, very special, and there are lots of juicy erotic parts. Phew! 

I also touch on some things I’ve learned during my healing process, including how the presence of gender/queer ideology impacted me in this relationship. This story inhabits some deeply cultural & ethnic themes, and some elements that are unique to lesbian relationships. 

For this reason, I’d like to share my story with those who will appreciate, resonate and find healing within it, the most. So, for now, I am choosing to make it available to a select readership of Sapphic (Lesbian and Bisexual) Women of Color. 

I’d especially like to share with those who would be open to sharing their thoughts with me after they finish reading. I really enjoy feeling connected to my readers, especially with stories like this, that are particularly vulnerable for me.

You’re welcome to read more excerpts and place a request to purchase the book here. 

I will also be sharing an exclusive excerpt from the “Disco Kitty” chapter for my paid Substack subscribers, in both writing and audiobook format.

I look forward to sharing with you. 

Thank yew.

💜